I had occasion yesterday to be in a group comprised of a disproportionate number of very poor women. Not women who think they are poor — most probably don’t think so — but they are.

Notable: lots of very bad teeth. Missing teeth, discolored teeth, teeth headed in all directions.

Why? First, dental coverage is weak in Israel, despite health coverage being all right. So those who haven’t got the money simply don’t have the work done.

That’s the obvious reason. There’s another reason, culturally rooted, and more potent: in haredi culture, people take pride in being non-materialistic. That’s helpful for coping if you’re poor, although it doesn’t incentivize for climbing out of poverty (another story). It also means that in certain haredi circles, women are proud of looking dowdy. Dowdiness implies disdain of trends and fashion, and a focus on more important things than external appearance. This makes spending money on external appearance less compelling than it is in other circles.

Understand that I’m not making any sweeping statements. There are other equally religious haredi circles in which the women’s clothes will make your eyes pop out (”the Europeans”), and others in which the mothers dress down but make up for it on their kids’ wardrobes and decorating their homes. But there is this anti-materialistic group, as well, and seeing it yesterday in a concentrated form (dozens at a time) was striking.

When the secular Israeli media look down on haredi society (and they do), it is generally the stereotype of this anti-materialist segment that they are despising: Bad teeth. Outdated clothes. Shabby “grandmother” shoes on women in their 40s. No makeup. Sagging stockings.

That’s the external appearance.

Internally:

Intense focus on being good, loving mothers — the education of the children comes before everything — including reading books and joining workshops on the subject. Pushing themselves to their physical limits to help neighbors and strangers with a hot meal, babysitting, a listening ear, a relevant referral. Genuine interest in and care for everyone they meet.

When I had the option, I chose to live in a neighborhood with a higher proportion of poor families rather than a neighborhood with a higher proportion of “Europeans”. For one thing, it made me feel rich, whereas the other neighborhood likely would have made me feel deprived. But I also relish the intensity, the purity, the focus on the real things in life uncluttered by recreational shopping, ice coffee, and vacations in the Alps.

It’s a different world, and a refreshing one.

It’s a culture that deserves respect and awe, not disdain and discrimination.